It’s never a good thing when you read one of the seminal “personal betterment” books of our time, and you end up reading a chapter where it feels like the author is personally pointing out to you just how much you suck. This happened to me when I got to the second chapter of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey.
With these words, Covey has called me out:
“…But while the glitter of pleasure-centered life-styles is graphically portrayed, the natural result of such life-styles — the impact on the inner person, on productivity, on relationships — is seldom accurately seen…”
“…The pleasure-centered person, too soon bored with each succeeding level of ‘fun,’ constantly cries for more and more. So, the next new pleasure has to be bigger and better, more exciting, with a bigger ‘high’. A person in this state becomes almost entirely narcissistic, interpreting all of life in terms of the pleasure it provides to the self here and now.
“Too many vacations that last too long, too many movies, too much TV, too much video game playing — too much undisciplined leisure time in which a person continually takes the course of least resistance gradually wastes a life. It ensures that a person’s capacities stay dormant, that talents remain undeveloped, that the mind and spirit become lethargic, and that the heart is unfulfilled. Where is the security, the guidance, the wisdom and the power? At the low end of the continuum, in the pleasure of a fleeting moment.”
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“Well, pH – how proud are you of your little philosophy now? Huh?”
Ok, so he didn’t actually write that last line, but it is close enough – or is it? Reading this section of the book made me stop, think, and worry a lot about what it is I intend to do with my life. After all, I have decided that “Prudent Hedonism” is a worthy philosophy to live by, and hedonism is nothing if not pleasure-centered, AND I believe that dear Mr. Covey is right about much of what he says with regards to too much of a good thing: banal, boring, waste.
But then again, it was no mistake that the name of this blog includes the word “Prudent”.
pru·dent adj.
- Wise in handling practical matters; exercising good judgment or common sense.
- Careful in regard to one’s own interests; provident.
- Careful about one’s conduct; circumspect
1. Wise in handling practical matters; exercising good judgment or common sense.
2. Careful in regard to one’s own interests; provident.
3. Careful about one’s conduct; circumspect
–>Haha, Mr. Covey – looks like maybe I’m not on the road to hell after all! Allow me to explain:
Prudent Hedonism to me, stems from my suspicion that a life not enjoyed is a life that’s not worth living. At the same time, however, I recognize that short-term enjoyment is rarely as good as (and often gets in the way of) longer-term, hard-earned gratifications. For example – blowing a couple hundred bucks on a sushi dinner at Origami is an amazing experience (especially when it can be enjoyed with good company). However, that couple hundred bucks could also be saved, and used to install that wet bar in the basement – something that will bring many nights of pleasure (especially when enjoyed with good company) instead of just that one.
The trick therefore, is to find the balance: life does require a little bit of instant gratification here and there, but too much instant gratification leads to missing out on many of life’s true pleasures.
As of late, I’ve come to the realization that my life is out of balance.I wallow too much in the world of instant gratification, and it’s led to a number of poor outcomes – I’m overweight, I live paycheck-to-paycheck, I stay with men who aren’t worth my time because they keep my bed warm (well, I got rid of that last problem at least).Part of why I’m writing this blog is because I know I need a little bit more “prudence†in my life. I also know that I’m not about to become a monk and give up everything that feels good all at once. So, I search for that balance.
All I’m asking of myself right now, is that I evaluate my wants and see how they interact with my needs (and maybe some of my longer term wants as well) in the hopes that I can stop sabotaging my life. I’m going to try to use these pages to record some of the interesting balances that I end up striking; some will be trivial (like the samoas-in-a-box), others will be more profound (like how to enjoy my tax refund while still being responsible with my windfall).
I’m hoping that you’ll enjoy watching me along the way and maybe learn a little something from my adventures.
Well, it seems like I’ve written what should have been the first post of this blog as the 5th. I don’t think it really matters though, since I don’t really have any readers yet (tracksy.com is all knowing and all seeing, and sees nothing). I hope my ramblings have made sense – and if you do happen upon this, and it strikes a chord, stick around – maybe we’ll both learn something.
-pH.